I guess you might feel that my sterile posts about what I called your "issue" about wanting to change your dojo as being impersonal, or unsensitive. When looking at things without judgement sometimes it comes off that way. If you feel am judging or attacking you am not. I think often times the core of an issue can be mis-read, twisted, etc. and we lose sight of what really is the issue which you said was your goal. I think your goal would be a very interesting discussion too.
Harassment is not nice, but it is not illegal unless it happens in the work place. Confusing that is also wrong which some people are doing in this thread to support their own personal agenda (for lack of a better word). Because it gets people off the subject and all worked up grabbing pitch forks and that is very wrong.
I think the other issue here is that you are disturbed by your sensei's behavior toward your friend. That is your right. And you want to change that. But the sensei isn't trying to pick you up with lines that some people find offensive. I agree you don't have to like the style of the sensei and it would turn allot of people away form the dojo including me if I witnessed it. But that is the sensei's personality defect problem that he has to figure out and work it out for himself. Isn't a benefit of Aikido character building?
I sometimes think about new students who come to the class with all their personal baggage, personality issues, stress, preconceived ideas, expectations, etc. thinking Aikido fix all that or fulfill all that. I know I did.