View Single Post
Old 11-17-2008, 09:01 AM   #52
Joe McParland
 
Joe McParland's Avatar
Dojo: Sword Mountain Aikido & Zen
Location: Baltimore, MD
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 309
United_States
Offline
Re: Another harassment question

Quote:
Anonymous User wrote: View Post
I feel responsible because I didn't address it the first time. I invited someone back to the class knowing what happened. I doubt anyone will accuse me of being the bad guy here but I still feel like I brought this ont he class (with help) which is why I feel so strongly abount correcting the situation.

[...]

Why is she continuing? I don't know. By her nature shes shy. She has a jerk of a coworker she deals with but refuses to confront him. I guess some people just hate confrontation and drama. If I had to guess why she continues in class she loves aikido and for the time being the pros outweight the cons. She's hoping it will go away.
This is a really nice post!

First, Tom28, everyone will happily jump in and tell you and your friend how you are not to blame. Regardless of the truth of the statement, perhaps particularly from a legal standpoint, you still have an internal conflict or two that you have to see. So may your friend, and so may your instructor. Secondly, you said, "I don't know." You follow with an "if I had to guess," but you're open to fact that you may not know. Keeping that sense of doubt keeps your mind clear of the assumptions and guesses that may cloud the issue.

You were off-balanced by the situation and your own part in creating it. You lost your center, but you're regaining it. Once you're centered---once you've identified the different thoughts and feelings that have complicated any response and you see the for what they are---you'll see the situation clearly and you'll be free to act without regret.