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Old 11-15-2008, 10:38 PM   #44
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 950
Re: Another harassment question

FWIW, am opening up some of my private life here. The jugular now is being exposed.

I am sure am not the only male who has experienced this. While undressing my bare butt was grabbed by a gay guy ( I do laugh about it) in the locker room and was told straight up what he would like to do to it. Being straight and taken by surprise I was shocked, and walked off. I also had several gay professor promised me better grades if I did. …well you know. One was very direct and explicit about it, where as the other was more indirect. Being on different occasions, I told both of them no. I paid the price for it in class for those semesters. I was belittled, and demeaned for saying no. And yes, lower grades then I should have, in both cases.

I was a freshman in college and construction was going on at the edge of campus. Walking home the construction workers started bullying me, poking fun at me, harassing me. for two blocks.

My family was on welfare when I was a kid for a short while as my father lost his job. For the first time I had to use food stamps at the supermarket, and the cashier harshly humiliated me publicly in front of everyone, getting other cashiers to join in. He was a guy, the others where both male and female. I was just a child.

I tried to play high school sports I was hazed and harassed by players and coaches. I was mocked, humiliated, emasculated, etc. I would cry so over-whelmed because I couldn't fight back physically or verbally, boy did it make things worse for me. Thank God, I didn’t get the worse of it, one kid was forced to drink out of a taped up athletic cup, and the cup wasn’t new. Or get my head dunked in the toilet and then flushed. One kid was sexual molested, mocked and abused very painfully. Swore to God, I would never go into the military, based on the stories of boot-camp.

I have had male and female teachers degrade me by verbally insulting me, harassment (sexual and not), and again emasculated me. I remember a female elementary teacher who was especially cruel and mean with what she said. She said I would never measure up to being a real man. I had a male P.E. make my life hell because I wasn't athletic, I couldn't do the allotted number of push-ups.

I have had women say some of the most sexist and vicious things to me who where angry and bitter about men. It started as a kid up until recently happening as an adult. I did mention my female boss and what she is like. It has happen and continues to happen to me.

And I have run across my share of a number of A.H. in the dojos I have been at.

Many of us guys, do and have experienced the same things women have. We don’t talk about really. We laugh it off, or go into shock when it is brought up. This makes me feel qualified in my opinions, people are complex, and have their reason for coming back to something or sticking with it, reasons that may not be made publicly despite public behavior.

This sensei people may know and classify him as a prime A.H. Others may not. Others may not take him so seriously, others my find it expectable. Others may be disturbed by it. But everyone has a choice in that dojo and that is their business and not ours. Until a crime is committed that requires an arrest or is a matter of civil court. My new question is has this women he is hassling call the cops, and how long has she been there. From what Tom28 tells us, I think 10 minutes is too long. If this sensei is that much of a threat why is not in jail? Don't tell me be cause he is too good to get caught.

I don't know the reason why this woman is staying in that dojo if the sensei is degrading her so badly. Again I think it is a matter of perspective, and we don't know this woman or how she sees the sensei. We only know how Tom28 sees it.

Last edited by Buck : 11-15-2008 at 10:45 PM.