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Old 11-15-2008, 10:19 PM   #43
Joe McParland
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Dojo: Sword Mountain Aikido & Zen
Location: Baltimore, MD
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 309
Re: Another harassment question

Ron Ragusa wrote: View Post
Victimization - to single somebody out unfairly for punishment or ill treatment. - Encarta Dictionary

Victimization is behavior that is engaged in by the perpetrator.
Mirriam Webster Online Dictionary wrote:
flirt 2 a: to behave amorously without serious intent
Flirting is the behavior that is engaged in by the perpetrator.

There. Now I've made an assertion, too. So, it's true, right?

Of course not. I don't know this fellow's mind.

For those of you who seek to minimize the events described by Tom28, replace Aikido school with [organization of your choice], Aikido instructor with [leader of said organization] and unnamed female student with your wife/daughter/sister/niece. Does the situation begin to look a little different?
Imagine? Ugh.

Fine, why not---but why not go all out then?
That last girl who stopped coming? She died in a car wreck on the way to her instructor's apartment from the dojo one night. She was the instructor's lover, and he was devastated by the loss. The girl was my daughter's friend. My daughter had a romantic interest in the fellow years before, but put that aside when she went off to study at the Sorbonne. Returning for her friend's funeral, she saw the fellow again. Romance rekindled right away. She started attending his class after being invited by a coworker, from whom she wished to keep this relationship a secret so as not to cause angst at the office. My daughter warns him occasionally about his public displays of affection that others may consider inappropriate, as she is slightly embarrassed by them herself, but they've lost themselves in love. If you like, I'll send you an invite to the wedding this spring.
We can imagine anything we like to fit Tom28's account. Moreover, if we carry a banner (such as victimization, women's rights, men's rights, or anything else), then we're likely to see what we're looking for.

This is not to say that Ron's assertion is false, mind you. This is to say that asserting something does not make it true. The invitation to imagine different circumstances is an error.

I assert that Budo practitioners should strive for this mental clarity.