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Old 11-15-2008, 07:10 AM   #36
Mary Eastland
 
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Dojo: Berkshire Hills Aikido
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 1,138
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Re: Another harassment question

Tom28 wrote : So how can I convince her to stop being shy, stop being embarrassed and tell him to stop making those kind of comments in class? How does she impact on him the seriousness of it and how it's effecting her and likely the rest of the class.
I know if I was one of the other guys training I'd sure as hell be resentful.


Hi Tom:
It is not her problem...it is his.

When I first starting training...there was no way I would even think that kind of talk was wrong. I had been socialized to believe I was an object and that whatever guys said or did was ok. I would laugh along with the jokes too because I wanted to train and fit in. And because I didn't know I was hurting myself.
Now I could say something...I do all the time. Our dojo has a respectful attitude for all people. Men and women who act different don't stay.
Have you noticed how when we talk about these issues even on this forum people make fun of us and say we are overreacting.
A woman who has just started training in Aikido doesn't need the extra responsibility of changing an instructor's behavior.

Mary