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Old 11-14-2008, 08:35 PM   #34
Buck
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 950
United_States
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Re: Another harassment question

Back OT...as sincere as Tom28 is in his posts, we are only getting an outside view. This issue is between the Sensei and the student, with a variety of different relationships and interpersonal stuff going on between them that no one else can see or is aware of. I then find it really hard to give advice, or place any kind of judgement on the situation or on Tom28 for that matter.

As I said before, joining an Aikido class isn't a heavy commitment like choosing a spouse. You as the student decide how you want the relationship to proceed and to what extent and level between you and the Sensei to happen. The student pays money to be instructed my a human, and not a stereotypical figure of a wise moral all knowing, infallible, parental, holiness of a sensei. That stuff is illusions and projections- the all mightily OZ of Aikido. O'Sensei may have thought of himself as a god. But that doesn't remove his human reality. Just as students should project upon the Sensei. The sensei has very limited power, and no special power over others unless it is given.

The Sensei is a human, who has agreed to teach a skill, like a physical trainer, a exercise class instructor, a person that instructs. They don't instruct you on your life, they teach a skill. They all have their own personalities and those personalities are not global.

If you see someone staying with a sensei and that sensei seems abrasive or abusive to a student you have to wonder why that student hasn't left after the first instance. Even if there is only one dojo in town that isn't an excuse to be treated poorly. Therefore, something unseen or not apparent to the observer is happening psychologically in that relationship between in the adult student and with the sensei.

Human's are complex creatures and how we deal with each other is very complex as well. You really got to read the whole book and not just the cover. You know get all the facts, observer first hand, etc. before you make judgements of who is, if any, the bad and the good. And if the relationship is anyone's business.

Tom28 brought up a concern. As sincere as he is there isn't enough factual information to be able to take sides and point fingers, or give advice. We don't know the personalities of the people or the dynamics of the relationship to offer sound advice, or blame, etc. The situation really is between the student and the sensei, and if the student feels wronged, again, they just don't have to come back to class. What I clue into is that the student hasn't left, therefore, accepts the relationship, and thus, no one else's business.

Last edited by Buck : 11-14-2008 at 08:43 PM.