Hanna, you're absolutely right, my fondest memories involving aikido have actually been after class sat in cafés with friends. It'll happen in this dojo too - eventually.
This is a case of an "not everyone thinks like I do" oops. That some people treat aikido as an activity they do once/twice a week to see what they get out of it is fine (I have come to realise), not everyone needs to or should take it so seriously, in fact one could argue that I'm the one who needs to chill out and stop treating it like the be all and end all (but I don't think I will, haha!).
I'm not worried anymore, every dojo is different and each will evolve too. I trust my sensei and what he teaches might lose a few people along the way, but it won't lose me!