Thread: Aikido Romance?
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Old 06-09-2002, 07:19 PM   #20
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 915
Well, let me side track onto Erik's scenic route for awhile:

I think one thing that has made a difference today in terms of drunk driving is a higher drinking age (although I admit it is not needed in Europe, but Europe has a different culture than the US ) and some lower intoxication levels. The former helps limit the number of folks who combine alcohol and driving, especially those new to driving, and a bit young (with the feelings of invincibility and occasionally clouded judgement that accompanies youth). But there are still a lot of folks who drive drunk, and a lot of repeat offenders. Bad actors will be bad actors. The fact that I do not drink, and am vocal about not approving of those who drink and drive, has not really changed anyones drinking and driving habits.

Similarly, my opinion on dating in the dojo should not (and does not) change anyone's attraction to their dojo mate. As long as they are adult about things (and I've seen adult relationships end on positive notes) they could even get through a break-up and both stay in the dojo... it just doesn't happen very often, so I say take that into account when deciding.

The difference between the power a priest has and a sensei (to me): the priest, as God's representative, can bind and loose sin. Sensei cannot. Aikido is not a religion. Senseis are not priests, nor are they psychiatrists. Would those that give their senseis that kind of power also give it to their dance instructor, or their music instructor? I never, not even in my wide-eyed formative first few weeks, gave any of the senseis I've had any sort of power over me. I respect them. I appreciate their teaching me Aikido. Those that have what I consider good qualities I appreciate and hope to emulate-- they are at best a good example. But any sort of control over me, no way... I am an adult, responsible for my own actions and I allow others to be responsible for theirs.

And Sara, I don't know about Erik, but no, no, no. No 14/15/16 year old is mature and responsible enough to decide if they should be dating a 25 year old. And no 25 year old should be dating a high school student. Period. A 25 year old is not interested in the mind or personality of a 14 year old, I promise you. All references to dating in my posts (at least) refer to ADULTS (and I stretch that my including 18-21 year olds, who often are just beginning to mature).
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