Having spent my entire summer working, many have been the times when i had the opportunity to read a lot of the really interesting threads and articles, posted by you, here.
And then, going back home, i kept on pondering on some of them, combining them with my thoughts.
The main cause of sadness and relief this summer (strange mix, i realize) has been my mother's death. She passed away on June 16th. Sadness for her departure, relief because she was in a lot of pain before her passing.
Please, provide your wisdom and thoughts on this; the very day she passed and after the urgent things had been done and over with (hospital etc.), one of the surprisingly first thoughts i had was that i would miss that night's training at the dojo.
I shook my head and said to myself: 'Do you mean this? Why?"
And now i ask you: HOW can this be?
I am the first to admit that 'aikido saved my life': I used to be an athlete, then gave it up completely and became a heavy smoker, computer-for-both-work-and-recreation type of person.
When i enrolled to this dojo two years ago (04/09/2006), I'd taken the decision to do something about the health of both my body and spirit, before it was too late.
Turns out, aikido has worked wonders on me since that day and I am really proud to say I celebrate September 4th as 'second birthday' ever since.
My late mother knew of my love for aikido and although it was (and is) hard not to miss classes -mainly due to the fact i work at night at a newspaper- she always encouraged me to keep it up, she'd wake me up in the morning (after what has been so brief a sleep) to drag my exhausted body to the dojo and enjoy been alive and she'd smile whenever i'd discuss anything aikido-related with her, because she may have been the only person in the whole wide world who could understand the deepest core of my heart and knew my joy was true.
Now that she's gone, I feel so unbearably alone. I even took place on the kyu promotion test, one day after her burial, and succeeded. I am now a 4th kyu.
And, since she's not here with me to know of this, i tell you that my 4th kyu has been the saddest of them all.
Thus, I share silently with you both my sadness and my joy today. And i say that this odd mixture of words that consists this message is my truth, my love, and a small tribute to my late, loving mother.
God bless. Be well.