How to police oneself...
I think the key point is the psychological structure of the training. In the Japanese/Aikido model we have the Neo-Confucian idea of a vertical hierarchy, as you have described. The beginner can't do "it" and the reason is because he/she can't understand "it." So the beginner must have "beginner's mind" and trust you as sempai, sensei as teacher, and Aikido as method.
Systema has a different structure. We practice "for real" but what is emphasized again and again is to really care about our partners, what Mr. Ryabko would probably call Christian love. His advice to beginners is to "be a good person." The primary idea behind practice is "non-destruction." My experience is that every long time Systema practitioner is someone who is very kind AND can hit you very hard. Both things seem to be necessary.
So in my thinking, to gain real ability in Aikido, adherence to the vertical teacher/student, sempai/kohai structure is necessary. In Systema, the development of compassion and empathy is essential.