What I've learned is that no one is special,including me, that has any special skills that will replace hard work, continuous training, and diligent study.
"Progress comes to those who train and train; reliance on secret techniques will get you nowhere." Morihei Ueshiba
"The wall of mystery is only in your head."
I think you're wrong-but you may be content with what your are trying to find. Working hard means nothing, and won't bring you much if it is working in the wrong direction.
You might want to seriously re-read the many posts of others who thought exactly the same as you, and consider setting out a series of questions to ask yourself.
1. Who are all these people?
2. Who have these epople felt and trained under?
3. Have they been all over like me?
4. Did they think like me?
5. Why are they now on the other side of the equation and all traiing this way after some of them only feeling it once or twice?
6. What could have caused so many to change their direction or views?
7. Am I missing something in the direction I am heading in?
8. Should I consider the witness of these experienced men and be searching in that direction?
These are good questions to ask in light of so much positive feedback.
Hey, I don't care. No sweat off my back. It just seems that even a halfwit (no not you) who was interested in learning Aikido™ might think twice when seeing so many twenty to thirty year Aikido™ men stopping and re-thinking their training method from some slight exposure to Aiki...do.
When I first felt it 18 yrs ago, I quit Aikido™ on the spot and pursued the way of Aiki...do ever since. It seems these men writing in here from Aikido™ are hell bent on bringing more Aiki...do, back into their Aikido™. I think that's a good thing.