Anne Marie Giri
I'm not so certain that it's personal when we train to learn to defend ourselves. I don't think learning to defend myself is personal, at least on an emotional level. It's more like, "like hell are you going to rape/beat/hit me." I think a key to learning a martial art is to learn to stay calm while defending onself and not falling into a rage type response which can get a person into trouble in a self-defense situation. Allowing myself to get "personal" would be counter-productive. But, wouldn't this be the same for men? If not, how so? Some one insulting a person's manhood isn't personal? Just asking...
Your brough up some good points. Let me start from the top, having a personal issue isn't bad. I don't think I ever said that, so I want everyone to know that is not something I want to focus upon.
A personal issue (what ever it be) turns the timid 90 lbs mother into a super heroine to lift a life a car off her child, for example. Or an otherwise non-physical woman defeats an attacker who threatens her child. On the other hand, I have been told by women when it comes to themselves they are hesitant to protect themselves-for a whole lot of different reasons-and feel more comfortable protecting loved one. Is this because of being cultured, yea to a point. What is culture is the idea women will protect others first before themselves.
How do you break that? I thought the key might be to give or allow women to get in touch with something personal.
You want more women to try Aikido. How do you get women interested, what do you say to get their interest that they other wise may not have an interest. You may relate to them with personal issues.
Look, I belong to this activity. It is targeted at males, us wimpy insecure, bullied guys that makes us feel like Rambos. After reading their last newsletter realize something I didn't realize before. After that program I watched about women acting on personal issues I noticed the newsletter, and activity and the activity leader/motivator all communicated directly at touching upon personal issues to get us wimpy timid guys motivated to take action- it includes action of simulated violence in a self-defense mock situations- much like Aikido does with randori.
Then when I thought about it more, it came to mind and that was in the movie where Mel Gibson played Wallace and he (like so many alike movies including Joan of Arch) stands in front of an army of soldiers before an epic battle giving a speech that is targeted to act on personal issues, so they will fight hard (emotionally).
Examining, being aware of, dealing with or applying the idea of personal issues in the dojo for women could provide positive results with other issues facing women in the dojo.
We, in general, tend to be nurturers and don't want to hurt. I'd tell them to throw me harder and they insist otherwise. I'd just keep throwing them harder until they started to actually apply the technique appropriately. Resultantly, he'd say "there!" and be really p.o.'d. I'd get up and say "good throw! now, keep throwing me that way." However, I don't know how this can be identified as being "personal." I don't think you mean it by "taking things personally" or "always emotional" either.
Off hand example would possibly be talking to her and finding out what personal issue would triggering her to block all other unimportant thoughts that are causing her to hesitate before doing the waza. Then tell her to use a personal issue as tool to help her to throw. In this way her mind isn't interfering and she is focused. Having her throw with emotional focus as a result of a personal issue which does block out all other interfering thoughts that cause her hesitation. This might solve problems providing confidence.
With most men you don't have to give them a reason on the level of practice. I want to say this isn't a men vs. women thing. It is just a difference, and understanding that difference and not applying a one-size-fits-all in the dojo, for example.