"Is that so?" - said the zen master when accused of fathering the child of a local villagers daughter.
"Is that so?" Is all he said as they told him the baby was his responsibility."
After some time the daughter confessed that the father was the local butcher, and the parents, quite distraught, went and apologized then asked for the baby back saying, "you are not the father."
Again, "Is that so?" Is all the zen master replied.
Its all stories.
Reaction to the ego in someone else.
There is nothing that you need to do.
Your wife is responsible for her own emotions and thoughts.
Dont get caught up in the emotional mind games.
This may aggravate your wifes ego as there is nothing for it to feed off of. But in doing this watch that your ego doesnt pop up and begin telling her how 'enlightened you are' by not trying to argue, etc.
Its that simple once you realize that its all stories, and that you dont have to be involved in the drama. - and that you are only responsible for yourself. (Does not mean your not loving your wife, but you are learning to take responsibility for yourself.)