I'm in the process of owning up to the core problem with my training:
fear and lack of physical conditioning.
I've also come to the realization these are not separate problems. They feed off each other in a constant loop. That being said, the one I need more help with is the mental toughness.
So... how the HELL do you get comfortable with uncomfortable things? How do you jump in the deep end? How do you not get paralyzed by fear or embarassment?
The one thing I've figured up is show up. No matter what, I gotta end up in the dojo. Things will NOT improve if i'm not there. That being said, when I'm the dojo, I end up hiding: just working with beginners, working with the people who don't challenge me, etc. I need to fix this, but I don't know how.
And BTW, "just choose to" is a non-answer, right up there with 'don't get hit' and 'just throw him'. If your answer is 'you need to figure out what works for you,' tell me what worked for you. I apologize for the frustration, but I'm finding it difficult to 'just' decide, and it is hard to look for advice and find platitudes.