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Old 05-27-2008, 09:29 AM   #14
Location: Massachusetts
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,059
Re: A Typical Day, you know, the same old, same old..

Hmm. What David Valadez said, especially:

David Valadez wrote: View Post
I'm all up for offering one's opinion - especially when it's being asked for, and/or for sharing and contrasting one's experience, but I just have no urge in me pass out universal condemnations according to my (by default) miniscule existence and/or experience. If we want to talk about what we like to do, or even why, that is one thing, but it just seems pointless to train ourselves to get folks to train like us...

For me, it's no different from finding a fellow hiker on a trail. I'll share my water if they ask for some, I'll give it to them if they say they need it, but I have no urge to tell them how to hike or where to go or even where they cannot go. We meet, we spend a moment, and then our moment together ends. I don't walk the trails, telling folks what is possible and not possible. If I feel they are truly in danger, then I do more than simply tell them they are in danger.

Real help is always proactive and constructive and takes great effort and sacrifice by the one providing it. It cannot happen in this setting, for better or for worse, and we should stop trying then to "help" folks.
This reminds me of this kid I knew in sixth grade. We'd all be there working on something, and he'd peer at what other kids were doing and say, "You're not supposed to do it that way." Even in the context of a sixth grade class, where the boundaries are rigid and objectives quite narrowly defined, it was a silly and arrogant thing to say -- while our teacher did teach methods, she tended to define our tasks more in terms of "what" than "how". I gave up on this kid after the third time demonstrating to him that I had used a different method to get the correct "what", and being met with a stubborn, "You're not supposed to do it that way."

Outside a sixth grade classroom, commands to "do it like I do it" seem even more pointless. Taking David's analogy of the hiker, why would you feel you can give directions to someone when you don't know where they want to go?
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