Hello Mr Gorman,
You raise a very interesting and pertinent question.
In your post you apply the lessons supposedly learned by aikido training to situations outside the world of aikido and this is very good.
However, in my own experience, I have been stunned to encounter physical and verbal bullying very much inside the world of aikido: dojo seniors who bully their juniors on and off the tatami, and people who should know better (including 8th dan shihans) who use their rank and status to 'beat down' others, who are 'weaker' in terms of rank and supposed technical ability.
Seeing this, I have become more reluctant to tell people what aikido is supposed to 'do' as a budo, especially outside the dojo. I suppose it is the old question of Quis custodiet ipsos custodes.