Great idea Jun!
These are just a few that help me every now and then. I hope others find them as useful as I:
"Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected."
-- Red Buttons
"I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?"
"Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco."
--Texas Bix Bender
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
"When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't answer him."
--Heather, Age 16
"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either; just leave me the hell alone."
"It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others."
"If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it."
"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."
"To do is to be." -- Socrates
"To be is to do." -- Plato
"Do be do be do." - Sinatra