Quote:
Ellis Amdur wrote:
3. BUT - this is not true in sexual abuse. First of all, when uncontrolled studies are done, an incredible majority of sexual predators endorse being abused as children. I recall it was 75% or 80%. But when they did a controlled study, where one could actually establish the facts of the individuals lives, the figure went down to about 30%.
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Ellis, thanks for your excellent posts in this thread.
I would like to point out that 30% sounds like a fairly significant number to me. I would note too that (if I read this correctly) we're looking at the percentage of sexual predators who were themselves abused as children, not the percentage of children who suffered abuse who themselves became sexual predators. I would suspect (and hope) that the numbers for society at large are much lower than 30% who had been victimized as children. While I certainly wouldn't go so far as to assert a causative relationship, I would say that we can see a correlation. I don't think that diminishes the point I think you were getting at (not everyone who was abused is doomed to become an abuser, nor is everyone who is an abuser someone who was abused). In my mind, it does show an increased likelihood.
My next comment is more to the general readership. There seem to be some posters who are not sure of the point of this kind of thread or perhaps the wisdom of posting an announcement like this when nothing has yet been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt. I feel that this kind of thing is important to discuss publicly because there is a mystique about long time Aikido practitioners (particularly instructors) that they are inherently moral superior beings. Many newer students (and parents) put a level of faith, trust and importance on these people which they simply do not deserve. Certainly we have all met some amazing, generous and humble people doing this stuff. But I've met a lot of abusive, arrogant, passive aggressive jerks along the way too. Many of them were highly revered by their students. I think it's extremely important for all of us to keep the human factor in perspective. My first Aikido teacher was never injurious or abusive to me, he never took advantage of children or women in the dojo. He did expect (and demand) an unhealthy amount of control over his students lives and finances. He also expected an extreme amount of reverence to be paid to himself. Many of us bought into that because we were young and had no other dojo experience to refer to. I'm not teaching much Aikido right now, but I do a fair amount of teaching in my sword line, and I have a few students/training partners who I find myself constantly reminding that I am not wise or special just because I have some experience swinging a sword around. It's critical for the kind of relationships I wish to foster in a dojo that I keep that level of reverence out. You put on funny clothes, start doing strange movements and many people will simply *want* to buy into something. Hopefully that will put this thread in the perspective I intended. It was not my with to start a witch hunt, or slander someone who has been charged with but not convicted of any crime. It is about putting the relationships with instructors and people in positions of authority in perspective. Perhaps something like this is happening elsewhere but the parents keep telling themselves, "...but he/she's an Aikido sensei, that could never happen..." I am all for respecting our teachers and seniors, but it's up to us to keep our eyes open for shoes under the curtain.