IMHO, no dichotomy. I deeply love the people I stand watch over. If it requires violence to keep them safe. Then it is violence born out of love and compassion. No struggle. Statement of fact. But make that decision before you walk into battle.
Concur 100% I am a long time follower of the way myself and it brings to mind a Koan/Parable taught to me not long ago...
The Master and his Student were traveling to a village when they came upon a large stream with a ford. At the ford they found a beautiful but delicate woman who seemed to be quite anxious about making the crossing...She saw them and asked the Master if he could carry her across as the stream was swift and she did not know how to swim. With a chuckle the Master picked her up and all of them crossed the stream. After setting her gently down, in gratitude the beautiful woman kissed him on the cheek and bid him thanks and farewell....
A few miles up the road The Master noticed his Student has a puzzled look on his face...They made eye contact and the Student asked, " Master is it not true that we are forbidden to touch a woman?" "Yes it is true" The Master Replied..."Our vows do not allow for us to touch them in any way." "But Master" The Student pleaded "You carried that beautiful woman across the stream!"
"Why are you still carrying her?" The Master replied.