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Old 04-02-2008, 06:12 AM   #8
dalen7's Avatar
Dojo: Karcag Aikido Club
Location: Karcag
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 750
Re: Recognizing the Ego...My time in Aikido

Dieter Haffner wrote: View Post
Good to see you found your way back into aikido.

I would like to make one suggestion.
Maybe it is time to start learning the language. I believe that this will improve your social life. Aikido is part of that social life and it seems that you are not fully excepted into the community (at least in the aikido community).
Best of luck with your new life in Hungary and aikido.
Great post...
I agree about the acceptance based on language, there is a natural barrier there, which I do try to cross...

Being a Thespian (stage actor, but this was in school), and a 'debater', I love to talk...and I am quite expressive with what little of the language I know and with my hand gestures etc.

I try, but as mentioned, some people are more gifted with language learning. Europeans are a good example, like yourself, where you were exposed to and had to learn the language.

In truth...for me to really learn Hungarian (and they will not deny, it is one of the hardest learn in the world.), would take more effort than what it is worth for the amount I use it.

Sounds rough the way Im putting it, but it will have to suffice for now or the post would turn into a novel.

Now as far as why I never tried to communicate with my teacher...well I explained that in the fact that I would need to speak a language (Hungarian) fluently to approach him. See, when there are the subtleties of deeper thoughts and feelings involved, mixed with ego, recognizing the ego as you speak, etc. one must be careful with the words they use and watch and change with the moment to keep the ego from flaring up on both sides to go to a defense.

Point is, 90% of us have not mastered that in our native languages.

I know I will have people frown (not saying you) in the fact that I have been here 3 years and have not merged into the language.
There is a bit more to that...I will share now quickly for what it is worth...well, its a long story with so many aspects that create the greater whole, and this indeed is what I have been pointing out with communication in general...its really hard to understand where and why someone is doing something and where they are coming from.

We are all unique lego blocks built up from different pieces and colors...we resemble each other on a surface level but the construct is unique...this is created by our experiences which create that perspective, which I mentioned.

So yes, you are occurred to me last night that indeed for them, its easier to bond when they can quickly chit chat about anything and can be intimidating and somewhat unapproachable otherwise.

This is yet another aspect that I considered when going back to aikido last night.

I wanted to go, yet I realize that the groove is not there, so to speak. I guess I could wait till I move back stateside or somewhere else where I can communicate freely...but I had invested 6 months into the art, and wanted to make sure I could solidify what I already learned at the minimum.

I dont plan on staying in Hungary forever...but you know, back when I lived stateside I said I would always move back to Europe. It took over 9 years to do so.

Of course things change and experiences change what we anticipated what something would be like. Hence the grass is greener on the other side scenario.

The joy is in being, but this is still fresh to me, no matter how old the concept has not come to fully 'bud' per say.

So, you do have a point, in the fact that I could grow to be an old man here...why not learn the language...well, to a certain extent...(wont go there, this is a can that has a lot of worms when opened.) Again, we go past just aikido but into every aspect of the culture here. And truth is, in the specific city I live in...its furthest from my spirit of who I am, but yet, in a strange way, an aspect of myself I have to learn about.

Appreciate your posting - and I indeed I do feel privileged that you are communicating with me in a language that is your second language. (I am correct about this am I not?)

I do understand the frustration about language, especially with people who speak english as a second language. It appears that Americans are language snobs. (No, we are just poor at it...never needed it, America is really like the E.U., but with 50 'countries' speaking different dialecs of English...and some can be hard to understand. Ever heard hill billy? No joke, I had some friends from the mountains and it can be hard to understand if your not used to it...well heck, when Im on the phone with various U.K. folks I stuggle to get past some of their accents.)

Point is, the efforts in those that speak English as the second language does not go unnoticed by myself, nor do I take it for granted.



p.s. - thanks for the best wishes.
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