Re: The Topic I never Wanted To Post
Wow, your post could have been written by me about 4 years ago!
I had almost the exact same set of experiences.
Mine came from training with my soldiers in the Army Combatives Program. i could not demonstrate anything that worked even against new students that had been in the program for less than a year.
I got on board with the program, took up MMA and BJJ and now have a better appreciation and can cross both sides of the fence somewhat now.
Don't give up, be patient, you are probably going through a period of deconstruction which in the end, if you survive, will lead to a new concepts, ideas, and understandings.
Don't be afraid to "let go" of what you know, get outside of your comfort zone, and learn from those that are "owning you".
Not sure where you are, but there are many out there that have gone through this.
Feel free to PM me in confidence if you ever want to talk about this issue, I have been there too!