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Old 03-25-2008, 08:59 AM   #10
"toomanythings"
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Anonymous User
Re: When your family resents Aikido

It's NOT aikido. That's an easy scapegoat, and it's NOT the message. It's too easy to turn yourself into a martyr by thinking your spouse hates anything that you find enjoyable, and by golly you'll keep doing it because you have rights as an individual. That's a lousy way to have a relationship.

The real point is that your spouse and children are feeling that you have not met your obligations to them. Basically, they are feeling neglected. You need to figure out exactly what areas are they feeling it and start doing high-payoff activities with them, e.g. if emotional needs are not fulfilled, consider setting aside special days for dates and outings; if domestic tasks are not getting done, consider hiring help; if you have financial troubles, make a plan for work and spending. This kind of strategic planning is crucial for any serious modern budoka.

I've always felt that the hardest technical part of martial arts by far is not technique or conditioning but having it all organised enough so that there is time for the best possible performance in family and career.
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