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Old 03-25-2008, 01:34 AM   #8
Location: Auckland
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 971
New Zealand
Re: When your family resents Aikido

getting your family involved is *not* the answer imo. If they see you not only spending all your time doing it, but also wanting to "suck them" into it, they may become even more resentful.

Ask yourself what's the message underneath the message. Likely they resent the time you spend away, or the fact that it's all you talk about when you are home, and they tire of the invitations to "grab my wrist" (speaking from my own experience here).

Rather than manufacturing a "dr says it's good for me" you need to show them why it's good for you in a way that's relelvent to your family. Which means demonstrating how much more energy you have by giving that energy to them. Being present in the moment and maintaining connection with which ever family member you're with. Leave aikido talk in the dojo unless asked about it. If you're going to a seminar make sure that time is balanced by a special family activity in close proximity. You may even need to trade seminar time for normal training time. If they come to watch a class it should be because they are saying "wow look what happened to you, how can I get me some of that" rather than because you're saying "no really it's great you'll love it come and watch, no really just once, give it a try..."

This issue is likey not about you doing aikido so much as what you're now not doing with them.


"When your only tool is a hammer every problem starts to look like a nail"
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