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Old 02-27-2008, 08:40 PM   #23
Marc Abrams
Dojo: Aikido Arts of Shin Budo Kai/ Bedford Hills, New York
Location: New York
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,302
United_States
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Re: Stephen Toyoda Sensei

Svetlana:

I think that you need to read my post again. I did not say that this man was guilty of anything. As a matter of fact, I expressed sorrow for his family and the organization. I also expressed my opinion as to how a parent may feel anger and want the instructor to suffer.

You, nor I know what did or did not happen. That is for the court to decide (as if the court is an ultimate arbiter of "truth"). Jun is correct in pointing out that a person is presumed innocent until proven guilty.

Clark's comment about being held to higher standards is absolutely correct. I have coached children's sports, work with all ages as a psychologist, taught at an undergraduate and graduate level and now teach martial arts to children, teens and adults. In all of those endeavors, I have knowingly accepted the "higher" standards that others would place on me and not onto themselves. When we allow ourselves to function in relationships in which we have a greater degree of power/authority over others, we should be held to a higher standard. The "intoxication" of power works on both sides of an inequitable relationship. Some people try and get intimate with a person of "higher power" and some people try and get intimate with a person of "lesser power." It requires a great deal of integrity and diligence to see to it that relationships maintain proper boundaries.

This situation is simply unfortunate for all involved. Nothing good can come from this.

Marc Abrams
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