The important thing is that *you* can see it, Ron. Because I'm not going to be there. The worry is about guys who use their shoulders but who are convinced they don't!
And hey.... I have to monitor myself constantly, too. My general rule of thumb is: "I'm sure I'm doing something wrong... what is it this time?"
This element is absolutely crucial to ones own training. You have to be able to feel it in yourself when you switch over from one mode to another. You have to be able to feel it in your training partner too.
It helps, assuming if you train with a partner who is familiar with the sensation to have them tell you if they feel you muscling it, because sometimes you forget, concentrating on something else, etc.
This isn't addressed to anyone in particular:
On a side note, the reason why everyone in martial arts has always been told "to relax" (and many many other things) makes a lot more sense, doesn't it?