Thread: What to do ?
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Old 01-31-2008, 09:40 PM   #62
Jennifer Yabut
Jennifer Yabut's Avatar
Dojo: Aikikai of Philadelphia
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 100
Re: What to do ?

Anonymous User wrote: View Post
No, no, he has not been violent against women in the past. And in the dojo nor "really" violent against men. He has been reported to the police (and got punished by the court) for other things (betrayal), not for violence. It's more a strange, hard to describe "aura" around him, that can be very scary. Usually he is very nice, very charming, friendly, a good person, nice to talk to, nice to be with him, wonderful to train with. But he has also a dark side, that you sometimes (very seldom) can see for a short time. He has a lot of temperament, is very large, of enormous strength and a very well trained martial artist. There are other men of his size/strength at the dojo, but they don't have this "odour" of potential danger. I could describe it better in my own language. It's as if there were something in him, that is so very strange, not really evil, but strange, that no one can have contact with this part, not even he himself.
But these are only feelings. Maybe they are wrong and very unfair against him.
Wait a you're *defending* him? If everything between you and him is perfectly fine, you wouldn't have made several posts concerning his behavior, wouldn't you? And you certainly wouldn't have asked your sensei to intervene on your behalf - even though your sensei "appeared" to have "minimalized" your feelings.

He may not have been physically "violent" against women per say, but judging by what you have shared, it sounds like he has a LONG history of being sexually INAPPROPRIATE with women (including you). That is just as serious - if not even more so, since sexual assault leaves deep psychological wounds that could take a lifetime to heal.

Then again, I don't know all the facts; just what you have shared. However, the little you have shared about the situation implies that this fellow should NOT be trusted - and certainly should NOT continue to train with you...or anyone else...PERIOD. If what you are saying is true - and your sensei is choosing to trivialize your bad experiences with this guy - you would seriously need to sit down and figure out for yourself if all this trauma is really worth it.

Don't completely disregard what your intuition may be telling you.

"The ultimate aim of martial arts is not having to use them." - Miyamoto Musashi
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