Re: Etiquette and Ego
I don't see anything excessive at all in the points your shihan stresses. The only thing I would have a problem with is the seiza, as my knees often just don't allow me to do seiza for very long. My own teacher understands this, and will allow me to adopt other postures, including standing when needed. Like you said, speak to the instructor before class.
I don't think it says anything at all about the instructor's ego.