What is your intention when you do an Aikido technique? When you do a shiho nage or kote gaeshi what do you intend to happen to uke?
I think, perhaps, that I want them to understand that they had no control. Feelings get in the way of understanding. Feelings can lead to misjudgment of the situation. I want an understanding to appear to them that there is some *thing* that they can not control, either in their actions or mine or both. If someone pushes me and I do not move, then I want an understanding from the pusher that what they attempted in their control did not work. If they attack, I want an understanding that their actions lacked control of either me or themselves or both. Beyond that, I hope that one day my level of mastery will allow the intention of either break/kill or pass-through, but through choice built upon skill.
Technique is not important. There should be no technique.