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Old 09-11-2007, 05:21 PM   #14
jennifer paige smith
 
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Dojo: Confluence Aiki-Dojo / Santa Cruz Sword Club
Location: Santa Cruz
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,049
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Re: In need of an Aikido magic bullet

You can really look at this situation and understand the difference between people and Aikido. Aikido asks of us and delivers to us the goods to shed our egos.You've got some choices: You could stay and fight the battle, you could let it wash over you, or you can continue to train and watch the dojo come to a split and then leave, which is what happened when my situation mirrored the original posters situation with a few cogent exceptions related to time in the dojo and rank in aikido (, for want of a better way to describe my place in the dojo.).
I had to leave for the sake of my spirit and for the sake of following what my spirit had in mind for me, which is to not take up shugyo (hardship training) at every step of the way in dealing with jealousy and heirarchy, but to put my training to work in a more joyful manner. It has been severe shugyo to open my own school and to traverse the politics of misunderstanding with the former dojo, but it has been freeing to the rest of my aikido practice; a practice I will follow for my entire life. For now I offer the words of my former teacher. the words I use to remind myself of the good teaching I got and also to put in place the healing for the community that is neccessary after such a public split.
"Don't stare at the hand when doing technique. Look out beyond your partner (opponent) and see the open space beyond them. Blend from there."
It is hard and heartbreaking to deal with such disappointments when we want and expect so much. But you'll be o.k., I'm sure.
It is a winding road. Stay with your practice until you can hear the wisdom of aikido help you to act 'in-tact'.
Good luck.
jen smith

Last edited by jennifer paige smith : 09-11-2007 at 05:27 PM.

Jennifer Paige Smith
Confluence Aikido Systems
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