Re: losing control...
I think the belief or the self-message perhaps might be reflected in the question "..when someone is dishonoring you?"
The questions you may want to ask yourself include: what does it mean to me to "be dishonored"? What does it look/feel like to me and how do I feel when I think it is happening? Then: Are there behaviors or words that come from another person that I PERCEIVE as dishonoring me but that in fact may spring from very different motives or sources?
We filter other people's words and attitudes through our own "hot buttons" and it is almost universal human trait to ascribe motives or thoughts to other people on the basis of our OWN internal crap rather than what is happening in reality.