Re: my sensei "video clip"
It was hard for me to see very clearly, but it seemed to me he was dropping them on their shoulders/upper back, though the room for error did seem very slight and of course heads did hit a couple times. I think the first technique looked good on both "sides" though; uke didn't hit his head, yet the sensei still maintained that penetrating connection through the upper torso. If he was trying to hit the head on the ground I imagine uke would have hit head first and I don't think that happened (though, again, I had a hard time seeing them very clearly).
At Tsubaki dojo we practice a very different form of shiho nage than anyone I've seen; with the sole intention of protecting the head. While I personally prefer this method, I can't fault others for training in a more dangerous manner.
Regarding the whole spousal abuse comparison: while I agree any maliciousness would be (or should be) a crime, I think presuming a direct reflection between these techniques and an abusive husband is a bit over the top. It looked no more dangerous than many of the suplexes of wrestling...though admittedly I'm relatively "new."
Take care everyone,