Oh please, Mother of God (and I'm Jewish) - not again!!! AGGHHGHGHGHGH Let this bundle of quotes put a stake through the heart of the question that will never die even though, most of the time, it was never asked!
A valient effort, boychik
, but vie'a toit'n beinkes
*means, basically, "it will work about as well as giving big, bulging eyes to a dead man (that he might see better)."