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Old 04-08-2002, 04:54 PM   #29
Chris Li
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Dojo: Aikido Sangenkai
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii
Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 3,300
Originally posted by ca
I would instead say the one in danger of disrupting the dojo is the one who's attitude makes everyone avoid him. He obviously isn't correcting his behavior, and others should not have to train with him if he is misbehaving.
Whether it's his fault or mine, the end result (disruption of the dojo) is the same.

I would not make a scene during class, however. Just don't sit near him, and make sure you get a different partner before he can choose you. He should get the hint if everyone avoids him. If not, since your speaking to your sempai didn't get any results, you could discuss it with your sensei--- but off the mat would be my suggestion. He will decide what, if anything, he will do about the situation. Most senseis, however, should have noticed by now that one student is being actively avoided by the rest, and I would think has asked a senior to do something about it (as in, have a talk with Mr. Muscles).

Training with all sorts of partners is important, but this one refused to work with his partner in the way requested, and then belittled his partner. What he needs is a larger, stronger senior to imobilize him a few times (or better still, a SMALLER partner to imobilize him a few times) to give him a feel of what kind of partner he is being.
Turn around is fair play? I'd like to think that there's a way to break that cycle, but maybe I'm too optomistic...

There was a study comparing pre-school education methods in the US and Japan. In the US, when two children got in a fight, the basic approach was for the teacher to seperate them, talk to them and, in general, get the situation settled. In Japan the basic approach was to leave them alone. The Japanese explanation was something along the lines of "How will they ever learn to deal with each other if the teacher is always interfering?". Now, I've seen both methods work and both methods not work, so I suppose YMMV.

For an example of how M. Ueshiba dealt with difficult students check out Ellis Amdur's section on Arikawa and Terry Dobson in "Dealing with O-Sensei" (hint, he followed the Japanese approach ).



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