Hi Anne Marie
I must say I agree with you. Sometimes (quite often actually
)I find myself in the middle of something that I can't seem to be able to do but I use an approach almost like yours. The only difference is, that I allow myself to think "I can't do this" however I always add the little " - yet". This has helped me, as I have build a confidence that one day I will get this to work if I only apply patience. I am aware that I'm probably fooling myself and that there will always be something lacking in my techniques - but I still think it's a very healthy approach to Aikido.
Finally I sometimes try to se the humorous aspect of my situation which can be quite entertaining. Example: Last week I thought I was doing pretty well during the first half of class. I did everything pretty fast and with a lot of flow but then my sensei told me that "your big toe is only supposed to touch the mat with its own weight". I realised that I tended to 'grasp' the tatami with my toes and for the remainder of that practise I failed every single technique as I each and every time came to think about my toes just about halfway into everything I did. In the end it was feeling so absurd that I could do nothing but laugh realising how little was needed to 'rock my boat'. I'm looking forward to practise this evening. Hopefully I can manage to relax my toes
but if I can't I will say "I can't do this - yet!".
Excuse my English please!