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Old 03-23-2007, 09:44 AM   #12
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Dojo: Senshin Center
Location: Dojo Address: 193 Turnpike Rd. Santa Barbara, CA.
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 1,426
Re: Eat Your Veggies

Basia Halliop wrote: View Post
My experience has been pretty much the opposite. I can't think of anyone I know who still does the things they were _made_ to do when they were young...
Not to say that Basia is suggesting I am saying this, but I hope it is clear to readers of the article that I am not proposing "forcing" or "making" a child train. I'm proposing to move beyond forcing and not forcing, liking and disliking, etc. I'm not suggesting we MAKE our child students like Aikido - that I said is impossible. It is impossible because preference does not work like that (in that it cannot be forced externally) and because Aikido cannot always and forever be liked (and all I said in my first post).

The talk I had with my son, which is repeated in the article, which I've had in one shape or another with my other three children, is an actual conversation. I do not think it sounds like he is being forced or made to like Aikido, or at least I hope it does not. It was not supposed to. If anything, he is being led one way, to a place of mutual benefit. No doubt, he's being guided, "encouraged" more where I want him to go than where he might go without me present, but there's no more force or "making" in that than in a well-applied Aikido technique.

For me, forcing a child to train, is just like caving in for them when they cry about hating Aikido. It's the same coin - just different sides.


David M. Valadez
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