Re: Getting very discouraged, need your help.
i am in no position to criticize you or tell you what to do as i have only been training for about 5 years myself. however, i do feel obligated to remind you that the true essence of aikido, is NOT fighting or winning competitions. aikido is extremely deep and, at only five years of training, you have only begun to scratch the surface. on the other hand, if you are sure that aikido just is not for you, then the best of luck to you in whatever path you choose to follow my friend.
best of luck