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Old 01-13-2007, 03:11 PM   #57
mriehle's Avatar
Dojo: New School Aikido
Location: Stockton, CA
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 320
Re: Get Real/ On the street

Grant Wagar wrote:
walking away or not standing up for ones self physically only resulted in further abuse.
It seems like an Aikido myth about the whole embarrass said individual without hurting them and they miraculously.
Maybe I wasn't clear. I didn't say "walk away" or "not stand up for yourself". Just don't beat 'em up. My students who've successfully dealt with bullies simply dealt with the attack without violence. The bully didn't get beat up, but neither did my student.

So, in at least one case, said bully wound up suspended from school and my student suffered no repercussions whatsoever.

Beating them up is only one way to remove their control of the situation.

Grant Wagar wrote:
Disagree. In my experience bullies are often the alpha male type with a bunch of submissive guys following him around. Any time I've seen a bully get beaten up (or have confronted the guy myself) never have I seen his friends jump in or become bullies themselves. Think about it.
I have. Repeatedly. More often than not.

In fact, I've seen a simple fight turn into six guys ganging up on one kid because he dared to throw a punch in a fight.

Grant Wagar wrote:
The guy their intimidated by just got beaten by someone, chances are their not going to try and take the alpha male spot. If anything, which I've seen plenty, the bullies followers will almost before the other guy.
Some people are born followers and their just doing what their hardwired to do-follow.
Yeah, I've heard this line as well. Then I got beat up by the "followers". I've known other people where it turned out the same way.

But, worse, I've seen the situation where someone has beat up a bully and he goes off and whines to his big brother who is sure that his little brother couldn't have started the fight. Wanna guess how that turned out?

The key is to take away their control of the situation. Beating them up is one way, but I contend it's not the best way. It certainly isn't the only way. Properly applied Aikido turns out to be, IME, a superior approach. In an ironic twist, it really does work best if you successfully defend yourself without hurting the bully.

I picture the conversation when he goes to complain to the big brother:

Bully: "He beat me up!"

Brother: "You don't look beat up. Are you trying get me in trouble?"

Bully: "But..."

Brother: "What? Quit bothering me."

Or it could just be that because you don't get into the game of who can beat who up that nobody feels like you're worth their time after that. Whatever it is, it seems to work.

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