Just look at your senior sensei - how do they interpret aikido. As you get older and more adept you usually get smoother, gentler, softer if you will. Most shihan I know do soft - but can always notch it up if required. Aikido is being developed in leaps and bounds and is (hopefully) moving away from the so called hard styles (generally) though hard is good sometimes - gentle represents control.
AI - harmony. Ki - energy. Do - way. you cant harmonise if you are fighting, thats called 'fighting'. Anyone can do that.