Re: different ways of applying kotegaeshi
I think the 'butterfly grip' (is that 2 hands on the hand, thumbs pointing upwards towards their fingers?) is a stronger and easy grip to apply, but I quite like the wrist grab and then pushing with the other hand since it enables more motility of the other hand (allowing it to change to a strike to the face of a block). Many times when I've seen kote-gaeshi applied in self-defence classes it is done immediately in front of the attacker with no concern for the other attackers hand. Admittedly simpler (and also can still be effective), but doesn't fit in as well with the whole integrated structure of aikido (being able to change and adapt to ukes response, and the techniques all pretty much being the same movements). I suppose as well, kotegaeshi as we do it is better for weapons taking as you do the technique.
Sorry Amir if I've repeated you a bit - you submitted whilst I was still writing this!