A few months ago I raised a topic "Is it proper?
". This about the situation we had in our dojo where my main concern is our own sensei. Different people shared different views. Some had to suggest to leave my dojo and look for another one, and for some are to let me stay . Different views different reason, that eventually compelled me to make a decision.
To make it short, I left my dojo and subscribed to another one. About 4 or 5 months of observation which in the beginning I presumed is a different recipe of aikido where I can train interestingly seems unsuccessful to me because they failed to honor the sense that interest me.
Right now I am concentrating on my BJJ (under team machado) and kickboxing classes. Every training session is surely learning(not teaching) and inspiring , though the training is really exhausting. So I cant avoid not to compare this to my aikido training where in these academy I can easily determine who are really good players or fighters. Unlike in Aikido where everybody claims to be better than the other though there is no basis/measure of goodness in this art.
I am still practicing aikido in this new dojo to retain my body to be flexible and be supplemented by my bjj class, and that is one of my benefits I got from my akido class. But unfortunately the bad side from my 6 years aikido training is that my mind was conditioned to believe that to become "Powerful
"is wrong (pathetic
), such belief is a horror to me everytime I practice BJJ esp. the 1st 3 months of my BJJ training where I could easily sweep by a person half to my weight despite of my strong, tough and powerful built. No wonder because I was conditioned to be powerless.
Right now I am still digging the gift that has been buried for a quite time. And I owe all of these to all my competitors who almost broke my arm from armbar submission or broke my ribs from a roundhouse kick. Despite, I am really grateful for that experience that keeps reminding me that I must learn more and I must not (be) a powerless person coz I really am not.
Regards to all,