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Old 08-04-2000, 05:12 PM   #11
Dojo: The Dojo (
Location: Bavaria
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 76

Mongo wrote:
Also, I think that sometimes we forget to remind the people backing us how much we appreciate their support and understanding. This includes not only our spouses, but also our instructors, which are willing to take the time out of their lives to share their special gifts with us.

Remember that people will seldom remember what you say or what you do. They will however, always remember how you made them feel!


Being on a path can change a person deeply and create self-knowledge which was not there before. This knowledge is truly like the apple in the Garden of Eden.. taste of it and you may very well find yourself needing to exit the Garden posthaste if your mate cannot, or will not, accept the changes and encourage you. And we must have acceptance and encouragement and support or we cannot grow.
That's my experience...
Others like Tarik find that their loved one understands that training makes them more of what that person loves.
My future former spouse always used to tell me that he knew better than to ask me to choose between my training and him. I now wonder why he saw the need to for me to choose. We trained together and still do, and it brought us closer, but for personal reasons, after a while, it was all we could talk about.
He frequently remarked that while it was just a hobby for him, it was something else for me.
Women tend to do more of the emotional work in a relationship and be expected to be around more. My former spouse was "supportive" but also somewhat resentful... though he did appreciate my personal improvements through the art.
What I am mulling over now is something Ashely Montague said: "Love is an expression, through ACTS, of your deep involvement with the best possible welfare of another" (paraphrased).
Which is pretty much what Mongo said.
Thanks for posting about it, I am so THERE!

("Candygram for Mongo??"

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