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in the 10 months i've been training, there has been one resounding positive effect: confidence. i am simply more confident in myself.
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Confidence is great, but as you found out, confidence only means one will be more comfortable entering into some related situation.
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2) You have to move fast in Aikido for it to be effective. if it's not instinctual, it will not work. he *did* grab my wrists a few times, and as soon as i "connected" with him, he simply let go, and the "ki" was lost.
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I especially agree with the part about it having to be instinctual. Thinking only seems to distract my ability to respond/act.
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summary: sometimes people think Aikido doesn't work. in this case, it didn't at all. but it wasn't O' Sensei's fault.
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It wasn't exactly Aikido, though, was it? If techniques didn't work, you weren't blending with his movements and getting "inside" of his movements. Ideally, you should never have to struggle: find your partner's intention and move with it.
HOWEVER remember there's a good reason most Aikidoka don't favor competing with people...particualry if the people are still very new: it's easy to get fixated on searching for, and then finding, that opening while you're tangled up with your partner; this can easily lead to dislocated bones or torn ligaments, if you're not sensitive enough to release the pressure you're generating, safely...and a spiral fracture sucks big-time! In addition to this, some techniques, if you pull them off, require uke to know how to move so they don't get hurt...if uke tenses up at the wrong time, it's easy to tear a muscle, or worse.
Kiotsukete while you gambatte!
Take care,
Matt