A beginner with delusions of grandeur
I recently passed my 4th kyu test, and i feel that i'm in a sort of limbo stage now. There's a lot that I know and could help beginners and children with, but I"m not a sempai so I'm not supposed to say anything. Plus, sensei has been pushing me to take a little more responsibility--leading warmups, taking his ukemi, helping the kids, etc. I tend to get real smug when these opportunities come up, cause I feel that I outdo my peers. I feel that I *could* handle more responsitbility, and I *could* teach people things. I was the "sempai" at a weapons group last week at which Sensei was not present, and I could so have taught that class. But I feel the need for humility and for the lowliness i'm used to as kohai, so i don't allow myself to appear as competent as I could be. Has anyone else experienced simelar things during this transition phase? i'd be glad to know how you dealt with it.