Mark Walsh wrote:
"Off-the-mat" or applied aikido may be helpful to you. Dobson and Miller's, "Aikido in Everyday Life" was an early book in the field, that is still a good place to start. They present a bunch of aiki options, other than smiling an walking away.
I work part time for Aiki Extensions a non-profit who specialize in this area, we have a bunch of articles available free on-line:
Paul Linden's articles are accessible and well worth a read.
PS - If your partner is interested we also do work with police.
have to second that, paul linden's articles are definitely worth reading, pls check it out for those of you who are into quality articles.