Great post! One point has now caused much confusion for me (which isn't really that hard to do!).
In your "Koan" you posed the questions:
"So here is the crux of the matter, if uke is blending with nage and nage
is blending with uke, who is in control? Who is the actor in the technique? When both egos vanish within the technique who is left?"
If both egos vanish in the technique, there is no intent and therefore no attack, no technique is then required?........ Are we to assume then that uke lost the initial intent to attack somewhere within Takemusu? I ask this because the reality is uke does not start with the intention of blending with nage, but rather, uke starts by attempting to impose their will (an attack in this case) on nage. Nage's interaction with uke's attack hopefully negates uke's initial intention, thus merely changing uke's intention from one of attack to one of survival. At that point both nage and uke enter a common realm, one of survival. But in the event where "both egos vanish", ........ I guess I am not grasping the concept of both ego's vanishing......... no winner or loser? no attack and defense? Harmony.............?
Personally, I believe nage is in control throughout, even prior to any physical contact or connection. I base this on the fact that as soon as uke even precieves the idea of attack, self control is lost. Nage must then be responsible for controlling both uke and nage.
Still confused.....but still trying......