Re: Instructor got mad because I didnt fall
Making 'honest' ukemi is easier said than done, until you are very self aware of your mind/body, it is possible to be 'resisting' even if you don't think you are. Good ukemi demands focus and flexibility, the ability to go were you are being led with 'non-resistance'. If the aikido is good this will lead to a neccessary escape, if the aikido is faulty, the ukemi will follow the fault to its conclusion, often some sort of 'lock - up', the only way out of this is to return to good aikido, problem solved.
If I practice with a lower grade, I will make adjustments for them, giving them a) either enough leeway to allow the exercise to reach it's conclusion, therfore giving them the experience of the complete shape of the exercise taken to it's conclusion. or b) follow enough to point out the spot that they need to focus on to make improvements. If I gave them too much of an attack / ukemi they would not learn to be anything other than frustrated.
If I practice with a higher grade, I don't give them any leeway, if they come up against a problem highlighted by my following it is up to them to seek instruction from the teacher, so that they do not keep repeating the same mistakes.
The situation at the head of the thread cannot be solved by anyone but the sensei of that dojo, he has to 'see' the problem taking place to know what to advise. Word of mouth about who did what and how regarding complex mind body movements inherent in aikido are almost certain to be 'faulty'
Even 'seeing' the problem as a sensei is not as accurate as 'feeling'.
just a few thoughts,