Re: Am i missing something??
From an entry in my aikiblog dealing with phases:
Everyone goes through phases in their life. Studying aikido is no different. At some point, you train hard, diligently, and many times a week. You love being at the center of things when uke attacks or being uke and whirling around with enormous amounts of energy.
At other times, you train half-heartedly, slowly, and maybe one day a week. You dread going to class and you drag yourself there because of some reason you come up with.
There will be times when you want to go to class and times that you don't. And usually, there is a phase where you will drop out from aikido altogether for some amount of time (anywhere from a month to a year).
Accept that there are phases and when you hit one, maybe it won't be as bad if you realize that phases are typically temporary.
When you hit that train hard phase, push it for what it's worth. When you hit the half hearted one, slow down and take a look internally for the reason you're at that point. And when you hit the drop out for awhile phase, relax and understand that it isn't a permanent thing. Enjoy other aspects of your life because quite often, after that drop out phase is over and you return, you have a renewed, refreshed, and invigorated zeal for aikido. It's like going from black and white to color and looking at the world in a whole new light.
Just like we train in the dojo, don't fight the phase, but blend with it, understand it, and perhaps redirect it to where you want it to go.