Well Mr. Gould, you already have your first "Dan", so I would not bother
Let me first say, I am sorry for your mother.
For your aikido grading, do what you want, but take your time, there is no reason to rush. Aikido is a way for all your life, and it does not really matter how far exactly you reach at the end. Especially a few month slower in the beginning do not really have any effect.
I do not know in your style, but in most dojo, the first test just means to know the few techniques that are tested and perform (dance) them as they are called. So if you know the names and roughly how to move, it is fine. If you have some aikido fellows, who are willing to practise with you, it is even better.
And again - do not worry: nobody can take your "Dan"