Re: will take pensive pause for now...
Understood, David. You are right, I have not attended your dojo, I just read your web site and that is what I reacted to. Apologies for speaking with a foot in my mouth.
You wrote about those resisting the courtesy protocol that "they feel safe (for habitual reasons) only if they are floating, being manipulated by pressures external to them." As I see it, motivation to practice is internal - if there is no internal drive, then no amount of external pressure can make practice relevant. I would still say that commitment starts with a choice: "I will do this (and not this)", and the integration flows from there - the integration is not the difficult part, it is a logical consequence.
It is probably true that I see the relationship with my dojo as fairly one-sided; they can get along perfectly well without me. And you are probably also right that there is a "floater" attitude in that, that there is an out should things become somehow difficult. All I can say is that I feel driven by a need to go to practice that is internal, and internal only. I guess I make the commitment to myself. Perhaps I see commitment as a very personal thing, and essentially one-sided.
There is a difference between willing/felt commitment and formal structure of commitment to me. Why it makes such a big difference I can't define, but I'll think about it. As usual, you have many thought-provoking insights; I am not sure why what you say hits a spot with me, but it does. Pretty much every time. So I think I will shut up for now and just think for a while.