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Liane Guillou wrote:
Any insights that you could offer me would be gratefully recieved as I don't feel that I am going to properly enjoy my training until I get it settled in my head.
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Over the years, I've seen several people with dan ranks that didn't appear to be the result of technical proficiency and I've seen plenty of people test for dan that I thought were sure to get it because their technique was so crisp...and they were failed.
I've gone to other schools and watched "san"-dans who's movements were laughable-- I figured the hakamas must of been to hide the shame. LOL.
I've read on this site about "black belts who've never been in a fight." Apparently, for some, being in fights is a requirement of the belt.
I believe that the reason anyone doesn't "feel" like they deserve a rank is because they have a preconceived idea about what it means to be that rank.
If I were in your shoes, I'd reconsider what that rank means.
As a beginner or low-intermediate, a second kyu may appear like something that signifies technical competence. However, the longer I train, the more I see that none of them appear very significant...until third and fourth dan.
I haven't seen anyone at that level (in my style) that isn't amazing.
I wouldn't put so much into a belt.